I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize