your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
