Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
