Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
