I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
