if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
