Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
