Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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