Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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