I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
