We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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