The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
