Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
