I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
