I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize