gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
