Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
