i permit you to call me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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