This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
