No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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