kristin has been a bad kristin
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
