That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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