His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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