oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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