forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
