i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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