i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
