Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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