Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
