Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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