I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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