i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
