Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
