i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
