Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
