My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize