I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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