can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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