I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She bit a glass in half.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
