Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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