The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
