Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
