Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
