Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
