Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
