I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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