When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
