I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
