all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
