i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
