i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
