There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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