return my video game
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
