just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
