were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
