I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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