You're so nebulous sometimes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize