You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
